The choices we make – part two

Earlier in the week, I wrote about “yes”.

“Yes – and….” is another thing entirely.

I remember an invitation to a leadership session with some people at work. It would have been 2007 and I had no idea what it would all be about.

The guy (whose name has gone from my memory) spent an hour working with the group to explore the power of saying “yes, and…” in response to a question, statement or problem. It was great fun, a good challenge and the principle has stuck with me since then.

So rather than starting with the defensive “no” when we are asked – pretty much anything – we lead with a “yes”. The And is where it gets creative. We build our ideas or response on the other. Which is incredibly helpful in building trust and showing respect. When you do it nicely!

Becoming a “Yes man”?

I enjoyed watching the film (must read the book). But this isn’t about doing everything you’re asked. I mentioned that last week too.

My way of working this out is more about being inclusive with the words we use. “Yes, I hear what you are saying and I’d like to share my perspective on that…” rather than my usual “No, you’re wrong and let me tell you the 15 ways you are wrong and I am victorious”.

Sickly sweet

Do I live those things every moment of everyday? It would be great to say “yes” to that question. Not yet though. I guess some of that is about being wise about what we say “yes” to. Will it do us good, build us up, teach us things and help us grow. And not becoming artificial.

At times, there are things that we need to give ourselves permission to do. And in my experience, give ourselves permission to not-do other things.

Autumn Sea

Put it down

It can be helpful to lay something down for a season – even if that’s a thing that is good for you in many ways.

Last week, I was away from home on holiday with the rest of TeamWeir.

We visited family, spent time outside, enjoyed an air museum run by enthusiasts and a temple to all things brick. I didn’t take a bike with me, and while I packed my trainers, there was no running done either.

Not a planned rest week. It was more about being able to “yes” I will make time for these things, instead of those things. And I will enjoy them.

That was helpful. No angst about not “getting to do something”. More enjoying what we were actually doing.

Build it up

So Yes, I will take the challenge to have more “yes, and…” moments in each day. And I will teach the weeWeirs how to build their ideas on other peoples. To start with “yes” (with a little wisdom) and see where we can go.

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