“Yes” is a good word.
I like to think that my “yes” means just that. However, far to often I try and do too much which means that my commitment to being somewhere at a given time is either just-in-time or just missed.
Reflecting on my habits as a person-who-likes-to-keep-the-world-happy, the tendency to say “yes” too often is unhelpful at best and destructive at worst.
A couple of weeks ago, when working hard to open bookings for the next workshop, I got myself all worked up about having *loads* still to do. And because there was loads to do, I wanted to just get on and do it. But actually, the wee-estWeir was unwell, it was nearly his birthday, Mrs theWeir’s birthday and they needed cared for first.
Making a choice to say “yes” to the needs of Mrs theWeir and the family would mean that some things will have to wait. They are important to me, and what I’m hoping to do. And that’s okay – the cost of delay was a price worth paying. Because being full of my own self-importance is grim.
S/he said “yes”
The sharing of matrimonial engagements on social media often starts with those words. I wonder if we realise how important our commitments to ourselves are. Do we consider them as significant as a marriage covenant?
In my example, I said “yes” to one thing at the expense of another. Simplifying things by not trying to fit everything in. Knowing there was a price to be paid and that price was really of my own making. So that’s like paper-money then. Isn’t it interesting how we will quickly scrap one commitment for another that seems to suit us better.
I wonder if we have become so used to dealing in commoditised things (good, services, people?!) that we don’t see what this is doing to our psychological and physiological health?
No-one lost out.
In my example, actually, I gained a lot. The fresh perspective on the *loads*. Filtering out the fluff and making it clear what needed to be done and when.
There was time with the boy – including some on the bike (in the interests of fresh air and smiles).
Saying “yes” alongside a “not yet” can also be helpful to see things for what they are – perhaps even saying “yes” to letting them go. If not forever, then for a season.
I’m interested in how it’s all connected
This also helps us stop and consider the three-letter question that I wrote about last week – “why?”. I think the courage to challenge the motivation for saying “yes” to everything can be hard to find, but rewarding when we do.
A changed man?
This week, Mrs theWeir and I celebrate our wedding anniversary. 18 years since we said “yes”, I have changed a lot. But I believe there’s a lot more to come. Surely, we’re just getting started.
Because I’m not able to promise that I’ll be perfect at timekeeping from now on. But I will try to make “yes” mean that.
And what’s this got to do with helping people book a place on a workshop?
Not a lot, really. But if you do want to come, let your “yes” mean “yes”. And maybe today, more conscious decisions to say “yes’ to the right things.